Over....it's a word we often associate with a negative connotation. I'm not sure why the past couple of days it has been burning in my mind so much. I generally regard my self as a fairly optimistic person....you know the textbook glass is half full girl. Yet my day off yesterday was spent physically preparing our beautiful little farm for the coming fall and winter months..with my mind busily assessing "Over".
So we have Overboard..never good...Overdone..also not good generally speaking...Overdrawn...expensive...Overwraught..exhausting...Overexposed...sounds pale...Overeat...uncomfortable...Overkill...um think about this for a minute...if we look at this one literally..how would this actually happen..bit of a ridiculous word. ..Overgrowth...blackberry bushes...Overflow...messy...Overo...not really an Over...its actually a colour of a Painted Horse...just though I would throw it in anyway.....Overzealous...too much espresso!
I look at "Over" as something designed by The Universe as a lesson..part of journey here ..( check the glass level...here comes that half full thing again...)
As I see it "Over" is not a bad thing. It is a rebirth, recharge opportunity for us to look at what was and make a now well informed decision on what is to be. "Over" and its specific circumstances need never be repeated, unless of course..by choice. "Over" gives us time to pause, to think, and in some cases wonder. It allows us the space to reflect and casts us into the overview of our future...what do we want, need, desire..what makes us truly happy. "Over" gives us permission to miss what was, grieve...it's good, its in that missing or grieving that we can come to terms with ourselves, learn ...get to know ourselves better. Perhaps some "Over's" give us permission to love ourselves a little more and remind us to .....next time be true to ourselves.
Sometimes "Over"can leave us feeling like we are in need of an Overhaul..... like we have been in a constant state of Overdrive....Some leave us Overwhelmed and searching for an Overview that somehow makes sense.
My favorite "Over" is the one that leaves us Overjoyed.....for in this is a realization that we are well on our way...I find in Overjoyed.....a feeling of being blessed...laughter.....insight....knowledge..conviction...and while the path to "Over" quite often is worthy of owning an SUV just to make it through...there is light, and gratitude, the ability to exhale....and breathe in fresh new life enabling air.....Joy!
Nancy xo
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
Living thru Trust
"Training Thru Trust". Its a philosophy that is used by a Horseman who trains and figures out horses (and the people that own them). Doug is incredibly accurate at what he does, talented, understanding and soft spoken. Schooled beyond what I have ever witnessed in the psychology of horses, how they think, how they feel and a grasp on why they think and feel the way they do. We have the privilege a few months ago to have Doug come to our farm and hold a two day private clinic for us. It was amazing. Everyone at the farm had a great experience with Doug, and their horses..and each other.
When I purchased my little mare 7 years ago, I knew little about the how to's of breaking horses, but I knew a lot about the loving of horses, how beautiful they were and how much I really wanted one! Yes we were going to become Reining companions together...Ride everyday and become real buddies!
I looked at about 6 horses before I found "Pants" (her registered name is Quincy Quick N Fancy...and man is she ever...on all counts!). The ad stated she was Registered, loads, stands for the farrier, quiet . I found Pants standing in a field at the end of a dead end road standing with two other horses, we looked at each other across the gate as if to say "Oh..there you are"! I came back the next day with an envelope of $100. bills and a friend with a horse trailer, Pants was coming home. Little did I know..how completely true that "Oh ..there you are" would become in the years to follow.
Pants has not been an easy study....for most. She has managed to force every trainer out of her world..and out of my barn, as they all have given up on her as she reaches her boiling point. One cowboy from Alberta came to me after putting 30 days of training and most politely told me "Miss Nancy, I could push her farther, but I am afraid I will break her spirit, and I think you love her too much for me to do that" I thanked Brother D for his honesty and quietly took my complicated little mare back..spirit completely intact. (Brother D and I are still very good friends!)
I decided to put any dreams of reining with her on hold..and do as my dear friend S had suggested.."just enjoy her".
Pants hates men, her ears pin, she will snort and evade their company any way she can find. Upon finding the breeder and contacting her, I was soon to learn that my little mare had been the victim of a beating as a yearling at the doorway of her stall, by the breeders husband. "He beat her probably harder than he needed to " she happily told me. I wanted to crawl through the phone at this point, as she nor her husband were witness to the fear still prevalent in my mare's life as a result of his lack of control.
I have learned that horses remember for up to a decade, it is my thought that the damage done that day as a yearling has so imprinted on her, that it will never leave her.
I arrived at the barn on the first day of the clinic and was politely asked to please retrieve my mare as she had decided not to allow anyone near her that afternoon. I poked my head out her stall door to the paddock where she was standing..."Hey...are you coming in"? That little mare looked up and in she came...the rest of the day would bring tears to my eyes....
I explained to Doug in a quick summation, who she was, "it's a trust issue with her...she has so little, all I see is a little horse who has so much try and wants to be good, she just doesn't trust people, except me" I explained about the beating, men, her spirit, and the softness I seem to be the only one to experience.
I handed my precious little mare over to Mr. Mills, and proceeded to watch in awe for the next hour and a half, while he worked quietly with her to gain the trust she had for so very long kept buried deep inside of her. It was a very gentle experience for her, quiet and without fuss or negativity. Almost magic really....he quietly stayed with her and their session ended with her joining up, soft eyes ....and head down ready for human contact...with a man she had only met a short time prior. As my little mare was handed back to me Mr Mills quietly explained...."somebody gave her hell for the fact that she was just being herself...and that wasn't fair. We can't change the past, but we can look to her future and help her to become more comfortable in her own skin".
Those softly spoken words hit home hard, this lesson was about my mare..and myself.
Looking at the little mare that night I saw a lot of myself within her...we had more in common that I had cared to admit.
Mr Mills was back the next day for another session, watching her with him brought tears to my eyes, she was beginning to trust, it was a slow process, but we could all see that she wanted to...it was clear that the experiences she had held onto from her past were so engrained , as I had suspected this was going to be a long road. The months following have seen us spend time together, using the tools and recreating the experiences she had over the two days spent with Mr. Mills, a lot of love and infinite patience.. I have noticed a huge difference in the little mare, she joins up immediately, we walk together and she is never far from my side. "Training thru Trust"...thank you Doug Mills...we are living thru Trust.
We have a greater understanding, and she is most definitely more comfortable in her own skin. All of our life experiences leave a footprint, some change us forever more. Matters of trust I have found lead us directly to matters of the heart, it is in our ability to quietly understand ourselves and those around us coupled with our willingness to forgive and not only accept gratitude but to fully embrace it that frees us from those experiences that shake us.
My little mare cannot go back and change the events of her past that have made her who she is today. I love that little mare, she is talented, beautiful and within her levels of trust....forgiving. I honor who she is, love her unconditionally, and do my part each day to make her life easy to be comfortable in. She is doing well, I ask little of her, she gives me so much. I have heard it said "The winds of heaven are that which blow through a horses ears"...it must be then that "The air of heaven is that which is breathed while in the presence of a horse". It certainly is with my little mare.
xo
When I purchased my little mare 7 years ago, I knew little about the how to's of breaking horses, but I knew a lot about the loving of horses, how beautiful they were and how much I really wanted one! Yes we were going to become Reining companions together...Ride everyday and become real buddies!
I looked at about 6 horses before I found "Pants" (her registered name is Quincy Quick N Fancy...and man is she ever...on all counts!). The ad stated she was Registered, loads, stands for the farrier, quiet . I found Pants standing in a field at the end of a dead end road standing with two other horses, we looked at each other across the gate as if to say "Oh..there you are"! I came back the next day with an envelope of $100. bills and a friend with a horse trailer, Pants was coming home. Little did I know..how completely true that "Oh ..there you are" would become in the years to follow.
Pants has not been an easy study....for most. She has managed to force every trainer out of her world..and out of my barn, as they all have given up on her as she reaches her boiling point. One cowboy from Alberta came to me after putting 30 days of training and most politely told me "Miss Nancy, I could push her farther, but I am afraid I will break her spirit, and I think you love her too much for me to do that" I thanked Brother D for his honesty and quietly took my complicated little mare back..spirit completely intact. (Brother D and I are still very good friends!)
I decided to put any dreams of reining with her on hold..and do as my dear friend S had suggested.."just enjoy her".
Pants hates men, her ears pin, she will snort and evade their company any way she can find. Upon finding the breeder and contacting her, I was soon to learn that my little mare had been the victim of a beating as a yearling at the doorway of her stall, by the breeders husband. "He beat her probably harder than he needed to " she happily told me. I wanted to crawl through the phone at this point, as she nor her husband were witness to the fear still prevalent in my mare's life as a result of his lack of control.
I have learned that horses remember for up to a decade, it is my thought that the damage done that day as a yearling has so imprinted on her, that it will never leave her.
I arrived at the barn on the first day of the clinic and was politely asked to please retrieve my mare as she had decided not to allow anyone near her that afternoon. I poked my head out her stall door to the paddock where she was standing..."Hey...are you coming in"? That little mare looked up and in she came...the rest of the day would bring tears to my eyes....
I explained to Doug in a quick summation, who she was, "it's a trust issue with her...she has so little, all I see is a little horse who has so much try and wants to be good, she just doesn't trust people, except me" I explained about the beating, men, her spirit, and the softness I seem to be the only one to experience.
I handed my precious little mare over to Mr. Mills, and proceeded to watch in awe for the next hour and a half, while he worked quietly with her to gain the trust she had for so very long kept buried deep inside of her. It was a very gentle experience for her, quiet and without fuss or negativity. Almost magic really....he quietly stayed with her and their session ended with her joining up, soft eyes ....and head down ready for human contact...with a man she had only met a short time prior. As my little mare was handed back to me Mr Mills quietly explained...."somebody gave her hell for the fact that she was just being herself...and that wasn't fair. We can't change the past, but we can look to her future and help her to become more comfortable in her own skin".
Those softly spoken words hit home hard, this lesson was about my mare..and myself.
Looking at the little mare that night I saw a lot of myself within her...we had more in common that I had cared to admit.
Mr Mills was back the next day for another session, watching her with him brought tears to my eyes, she was beginning to trust, it was a slow process, but we could all see that she wanted to...it was clear that the experiences she had held onto from her past were so engrained , as I had suspected this was going to be a long road. The months following have seen us spend time together, using the tools and recreating the experiences she had over the two days spent with Mr. Mills, a lot of love and infinite patience.. I have noticed a huge difference in the little mare, she joins up immediately, we walk together and she is never far from my side. "Training thru Trust"...thank you Doug Mills...we are living thru Trust.
We have a greater understanding, and she is most definitely more comfortable in her own skin. All of our life experiences leave a footprint, some change us forever more. Matters of trust I have found lead us directly to matters of the heart, it is in our ability to quietly understand ourselves and those around us coupled with our willingness to forgive and not only accept gratitude but to fully embrace it that frees us from those experiences that shake us.
My little mare cannot go back and change the events of her past that have made her who she is today. I love that little mare, she is talented, beautiful and within her levels of trust....forgiving. I honor who she is, love her unconditionally, and do my part each day to make her life easy to be comfortable in. She is doing well, I ask little of her, she gives me so much. I have heard it said "The winds of heaven are that which blow through a horses ears"...it must be then that "The air of heaven is that which is breathed while in the presence of a horse". It certainly is with my little mare.
xo
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